This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
BRING THE BAGELS
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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