All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
