A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
