I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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