gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
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They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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