Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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