Where are you?
In a non slutty way
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
