ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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