You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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