i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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