I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
