I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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