No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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