its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
