I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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