he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
