Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
