I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
