Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize