She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
