I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
