chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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