Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
