That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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