Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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