6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
