You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize