nut hugger
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
