I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
cat food counts as protein by the way
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
