he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
