The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
