just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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