Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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