Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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