You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
