mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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