Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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