My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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