girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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