Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
