is wine microwaveable?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
this hospital has no fireball
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
