no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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