Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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