so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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