State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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