Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize