I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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