my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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