i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
