your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
