textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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