kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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