My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
tell me about the fingering
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