You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize